Dress up
by PsychUOut
Summary: Ryan and Esposito pick up Castle from the loft, only to get more than what they bargained for. A little idea I had while watching some older episodes.


Dress up

"Since when do we play personal chauffeur to Castle?" Esposito snapped as he and his partner walked the hall to Rick's apartment.

"We are not chauffeurs." Ryan argued. "Beckett just asked us to pick up Castle and bring him to the park to help with our evidence search."

Javi scoffed, "Whatever you want to call it man, we had to come up and get him. We might as well be wearing those stupid little hats." He didn't give Ryan a chance to argue before rapping his knuckles harshly on the writer's door. He opened his mouth to yell at Castle as soon as the door flew open but when Castle wasn't the one standing in the doorway he snapped it shut.

"Hello boys." Martha sang. She moved into the hall and pushed them both inside the apartment. "Richard is just getting ready. In the meantime I need your help."

"Our help?" Esposito questioned nervously, noticing the odd costume Castle's mother was wearing. A floor length dress and a feathered hat like something from a Jane Austen novel.

She looked them both over before stepping forward to pull Javier's coat tighter around him. "Hm, no not you." She said with a dismissive wave. Ryan chuckled when his partner hit him with a confused glare. The laughter immediately stopped when the red-head stepped to the side and pulled at Kevin's suit coat. "Ah yes you, much thinner. You're the perfect body type to be my model."

"What?" Ryan squeaked. It was Javier's turn to laugh.

Martha grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to the center of the room. He looked back to Javier for help. "Better do what she says bro." He chuckled.

Martha pulled off Ryan's coat and ordered him to take off his tie, vest, and shoes. "Castle is in his bedroom if you want to talk to him. He's been in there a while."

"Okay." Esposito abandoned his partner in search of Castle. He found the writer's bedroom but before he had a chance to knock, Rick pulled the door open and tugged the detective inside. Castle poked his head back out before shutting the door quietly. "Dude." Javi snapped, straightening his jacket, "What the hell? What are you doing?"

"Hiding." Castle whispered, "From my mother. She's making costumes, last time she did that I ended up in a leaf crown and Greek robe... which was surprisingly comfortable. Very roomy. Except she kept jabbing me with those wicked little needles."

Esposito grinned, "No sweat, its safe. She already chose her victim."

Castle lifted an eyebrow, noticing the absence of one Irish detective. "Ryan?" He questioned with a smile.

Javi nodded. "Ryan."

"Sweet, let's go."

When they returned to the living room Ryan was standing on the coffee table wearing a long, flowing robe over his clothes, which looked embarrassingly similar to a dress in its array of color. The two men stifled laughs. "Looking good Mrs. Rogers." Esposito chuckled. Ryan glared at him trying to look threatening as his fair cheeks turned bright red.

Castle nudged Esposito in the ribs, pointing to the hat that waited for Ryan on the couch. "Yeah, Mother. What is that?"

"It is for my latest production of course." She said with a massive grin. "I was having trouble getting the measurements right but Detective Ryan here matches the actor that will be wearing it perfectly. Thank you my dear."

Kevin swallowed. "Uh… no problem. Are we done? Because we have a case to-"

"Oh no no no!" She cried in a panic. "You can't leave yet, I still have some pins to place and then there's the hat." She gestured to the gaudy green feathered hat on the couch and Ryan's blue eyes widened in fear. He glanced to his partner's looking for help.

He would find none. "You could stay behind and help Martha." Espo said with a cheeky grin. "Castle and I can take it from here."

"Oh could you really?" She cooed, looking up at him with a grateful smile.

"Well, I uh…" Ryan swallowed. He never did like to let people down… Esposito knew that.

Esposito chuckled and pulled out his phone, snapping a quick picture and making Ryan fume with anger. "I'm just sorry I couldn't be of more help." He snickered.

Castle's eyes widened. "Dude, don't say anything like that around my mother." He whispered out of the corner of his mouth, but it was too late.

"Actually Detective Esposito." Martha interrupted cheerfully. "You match my dashing prince from my other production perfectly."

His smiled faded. "I do?" He asked flatly.

She circled him, Castle backed away slowly. "Yes you do, and I would love to see how that costume is fitting. Now where did I put those tights?"

Ryan let out a loud laugh while Espo began to sweat. "I am not wearing tights!" He snapped harshly.

It didn't deter the woman. She waved a hand. "Oh pish posh, they're men's tights. I think I left them in my bedroom." She quickly disappeared in search of the clothing.

"There is no such thing as men's tights." Javier grumbled to Castle. "Tights are for little girls in pigtails. I don't do tights!"

Ryan stepped down from the table, his robe flowing elegantly behind him. "Well you do now." He said smugly, enjoying his partner's pain.

"Shut up!"

Castle thought quickly. "Well there's only one way we can get out of this, run… and run fast."

"Run?" Espo questioned. "Run from your mother. That's the best you can come up with?"

Martha's voice rang from the hall, making the men jump. "Ah! Here they are!" She called.

Esposito swallowed. "I like running, running is a good plan." He squeaked and bolted to the door with Castle hot on his heels.

"Wait!" Ryan yelled in a panic. He shed the robe as delicately as possible, he wanted to escape but he didn't want to ruin all of Martha's hard work. Her footsteps grew closer as he quickly gathered his things and followed the others out the door. "Thanks for waiting." He grumbled, reaching the elevator just as the doors were closing.

Castle shook his head. "Hey, in a situation like that, it's every man for himself."

"Crap!" Ryan spat, looking down at his feet. "I forgot my shoes."

"You could go back and get them bro." Esposito grinned. "If you want to risk it."

Kevin shuddered at the thought. "I don't really need shoes. Central Park's grass is nice this time of year."

Javier shook his head and glared at Castle. "Dude, we are never picking you up again."


End file.
